Hi readers.
I had posted this blog Sunday and took it down soon after.
My father advised me against posting it. He said,
"What's this doing on a sewing blog?"
He thought I might offend some readers who have their daughters in dance.
After receiving a letter from a reader who was disappointed that I removed it, I thought,
"Well, it is my blog and I am allowed to post my personal opinions that don't have to do with sewing or crafts once in awhile , right?"
It's not like I'm getting paid to do this.
Plus, I'm not putting down dance at all, it is a viable and beautiful art form.
Just some of the people who profit off of those eager students and parents.
I am new to the dance mom world.
My nine year old has a talent for dance so I put her in a dance class a few months ago. She picked it up right away and I was pretty impressed by her ability to remember all of those steps.
Before we get started I have to tell you my daughter is in a hip hop class. I know a lot of parents out there think hip hop is inappropriate for children but Lily has been dancing to that WII video game for awhile and we often dance together on the wood floor in the kitchen.
She is good at it and wanted to take the class. And the song they did their number to was innocent enough.
After enjoying this form of dance she now wants to study ballet. I think that will be a good balance. Some classical dancing, and some fun, show off dancing.
My experience with her dance school is this:
It is a money machine that exploits well meaning but unaware parents.
The sad thing is since we live basically in the middle of nowhere, we don't have any other schools to choose from that aren't over a half an hour away.
Twice a year there, is a show the children are expected to perform in and parents have to buy expensive costumes for every number their kid is in. One mom I know has two daughters who were in numerous numbers last night and she spent 800 dollars on costumes!
Most likely the school is getting a good percentage on the sale of the costumes.
Each costume costs around seventy dollars and the child only wears each costume for one song.
As a seamstress, I know how much work goes into making these costumes . The girls end up having dozens of costumes sitting in their closets, each being worn three times. Once for the required and expensive photoshoot, another time for the dress rehearsal, and again for the performance. It is so wasteful.
I make costumes for the theatre. The budget is small so we try to reuse costumes often by altering or reworking.
Some of these costumes from the dance school are beautiful but they only get to see two minutes of performance time before they are retired indefinitely.
Not only do you have to buy costumes for the show but you have to pay fifteen dollars a head to see your child perform.
And you can't film your child during the performance. You have to buy a 35 dollar DVD! There are also flowers and photos to be bought via the studio. I have to spend thirty five dollars so I can fast forward the entire DVD just to get to the two minutes my child is dancing? Hmph!!!!
This is a mainly working class community here folks! Why are all of these parents shelling out such big bucks for this?
As you can probably tell by now, I was not on board with all of the pressure to spend, being the thrifty (cheap) mom that I am . My daughter was in only one 3 minute number/ song and the show was 2+ hours long.
Her number was after the first intermission. No way was I going to pay seventy dollars for the family to see Lily dance for two minutes!
But I wasn't going to miss her performance for the world, so during the intermission we snuck into the auditorium through the exit doors which were very crowded with people walking out. We walked in seperately to avoid notice and since some people had left during the intermission, we sat ourselves down in great seats to watch the second half of the show.
I was prepared to pay if we were questioned but we were lucky. There were guards everywhere at the performing arts center, but the one at our door must have taken a bathroom break at the intermission.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Yes, you may think that antisocial behavior, but the punk rocker still lives in this almost middle aged lady.
I hadn't seen all of the costumes except Lily's late eighties style MC Hammer type hip hop knickers and vest which were quite modest.
So I was shocked to see very young girls in suggestive outfits with lots of makeup dancing to songs with lyrics like "I'm a bad girl..."
What the *%#@!?...
My husband and I squirmed in our seats. What happened to the cute little tap dancing outfits I had imagined? These little girls were shimmying their hips and wiggling their derrieres in a very mature way.
It was like an audition for a Vegas showgirl act!
I can assure you, it was NOT appropriate for 10 year olds.
If my daughter had been in some of those numbers I would have wanted to grab her off of the stage. I wondered if the other parents had a problem with this too.
In defense of the school there were many numbers that were very well danced and not inappropriate at all.
But those previous ones mentioned ruined the performance for me.
It got me thinking that one of the reasons I love vintage sewing and especially vintage children's patterns is the innocence of the drawings of the children and the sweetness the clothing itself conveys.
Of course, almost anything gets me to thinking about sewing....
The sexualization and objectification of children is everywhere. Shows like DANCE MOMS and Toddlers And Tiaras indulge some of the worst aspects of our culture here in the good ole' USA. Mothers on these shows don't think it odd to parade their innocent children onstage fully made up, in sexy and revealing clothing, and with pounds of hairspray on. The infighting, unhealthy competition, and unfriendliness on these shows doesn't show our society in a very good light.
But by showing shows like this on TV our culture is condoning the sexualization of our girls.
How would we feel if there was a show about 8 year old boys lifting weights to try to be the hottest dudes around?
It would never even make it on air.
Are your daughters in dance school?
Do you think my daughters school is unusual or typical?
Just curious.
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